Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day.
Do you still remember the unmarried and infertile aunt who burst into flames during the Chinese New Year? In the video, she is dressed in fashion, with exquisite makeup, and looks particularly temperamental.
Holding a thick stack of RMB in her hand, she sat on the sofa with great momentum and gave red envelopes to several younger generations. After the video was on fire, netizens said that such a young aunt would please give me a dozen.
It turns out that this young aunt is an unmarried woman. This makes netizens uneasy. It turns out that unmarried women can live so chic.
In fact, in China, this phenomenon is not uncommon. The data shows that the childless rate of women in China has been increasing in recent years, and it will be nearly 10% in 2020.
This means that,In China, 70 million women will be childless for life. In other words, one in every 10 women will choose infertility.
People have different views on this issue, which can be roughly divided into three factions. The first is conservatives, who think that barren means incomplete life, which has become their tool to attack unmarried infertile women. The second is the centrists, who think it is women’s freedom to have children or not. The last one is the radicals, who believe that childbearing is the exploitation of women.
However, these factions all think that their ideas are correct, and no one can convince anyone. However, most people just stand and talk like it’s easy. Today, we will take a look at what happens to women who choose not to have children.
First, the dancer Yang li Ping.
Teacher Yang li Ping is 64 years old this year. She started dancing at the age of 13 and has been dancing for 51 years.In these 51 years, she has appeared in more than 7,000 offline performances, which can be said to be a ceiling figure in China dance industry. But it is such a successful woman that she will be attacked every time she appears.
A netizen commented that a woman who doesn’t have children is a failure. That is, z makes the career more successful, and family happiness is the happiest.
This comment is just one of many attacks, and there are not a few people who have this idea. So, why did Yang li Ping choose infertility?
At first, Yang li Ping had two marriages. However, both marriages ended up because of children’s problems. As we all know, Yang li Ping is best at peacock dance, and he loves peacock dance most all his life.
When a woman gives birth, it will bring irreversible damage to her body. Therefore, in order to dance, Yang li Ping chose to be infertile for life.
In the face of these voices on the Internet, Yang li Ping seems to have never responded. She just silently danced her favorite dance and devoted herself to training more excellent dancers.
With the improvement of the epidemic situation, all walks of life in China are showing a recovery trend. At this time, Yang li Ping’s national tour also began.
On the stage, she is still so beautiful and elegant. Even at the age of 65, her figure is still light and slender.
A survey once showed that women are more worried that giving birth will hinder their career than men. Yang li Ping is also such a woman. In their minds, personal career development is often more important than childbirth. Before being mothers, they were first and foremost alone.
However, when women become mothers, they will face more kidnappings because of their motherhood. Under the influence of patriarchal ideology, they need to undertake more family work and often bear greater pressure.
In this case, personal life is extremely compressed, and more and more mothers lose themselves.
Therefore, the pursuit of self and freedom gradually surpasses childbearing and occupies a more important position in women’s sexual life.
And the example of Yang li Ping also tells us that there are only three things in this world, the first thing is God’s business, the second thing is others’ business, and the third thing is your own business. Only you can be responsible for your own life.
The second case is seven grandmothers in Japan. As we all know, Japan’s aging problem is more serious than China’s, and they have entered an aging society ahead of us.
In Japan, there are also many women who choose not to marry and have no children. Among these women, seven women’s old age life is very enviable.
These seven women all have the idea of holding a group to support the elderly, so they came together. They bought an apartment together and signed a contract to live together.
Among them, the oldest is 83 years old and the youngest is 71 years old. However, holding a group to support the elderly is not as smooth as they thought.
One old man was ill in hospital, which made the other six people feel the pressure brought by aging. How on earth should these childless women leave the world with dignity? What kind of mood do they have to face death with?
There is no standard answer to this question, but these old people are well prepared psychologically, and they should face the next life with such a positive attitude.
In the current society, the system of old-age care institutions is not perfect enough. For childless people, providing for the aged has always been a headache. However, the lifestyle of these seven old people holding a group for the elderly may provide a brand-new idea for this group of people.
Holding a group to support the elderly can not only solve the emotional problems of the elderly, but also get help from other elderly people. As the saying goes, when people gather firewood, the flames are high.
When people with the same experience live together, they are more likely to find common topics and get a happier old age.
So, will everyone take the initiative to choose infertility? Of course not. Many people are also passive. The representative of this type is actress Liu Xuehua.
Because she met love rat when she was young, she lost the chance to be a mother. Later, because her husband died unexpectedly, she is still alone. In the program, she made it clear that having no children is a lifelong regret.
In fact, there are not a few people who are passively infertile like Liu Xuehua. However, they choose infertility for different reasons.
Some people like children, but don’t want to get married. In contemporary society, women’s rights and interests in the family are still not fully guaranteed, and women tend to undertake more family affairs than men.
The data shows that the proportion of women who undertake the vast majority of family affairs or fully take care of family affairs is as high as 72%, while that of men is only 16%.
In addition, widowed parenting also makes many women feel afraid of marriage and childbirth. Not only that, some people have done a survey on some novice mothers, and the results show that 70% mothers will have postpartum depression. All these have brought great psychological pressure to women.
There are also some women who postpone or give up giving birth because the economic situation does not allow. In this era of involution, it is very difficult for adults to take care of themselves. If you can’t take good care of children, it is also a sin to give birth to them irresponsibly.
In a word, life and not life are women’s personal choices. Some people can live well without children, while others are not necessarily happy with their children and grandchildren.
There are as many different ways of living as there are people in this world. We should treat those who are different from our own choices with an inclusive mind.
– The End –
Author | Tommy Da
Edit | Braised pork with plum vegetables
A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biography. (2020, January 29).
Wechat WeChat official account: the first psychology
Jing gong Wang an Bei 11040202120016 Hao